Sneezing My Brains Out

This blog is long overdue. I've been meaning to post it for the last couple of days but life keeps getting in the way, and by the end of the day... I just want to sleep. Which is silly, because I haven't slept much for the last couple of days. BUT OH WELL. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, AND IT DOESN'T NEED TO.

But anyhow, the magic list I posted a few days ago has been worked on! 

• Finish the piggie bank for a co-worker so I can get it in the oven and call it a day.
• Update Breaking Barriers and figure out how long I really want this sudden and distraction-filled plot bunny to be.
• Update Devour Me
• Update 1995
• Make a display banner for main hollow girl site
• Work on some updates for graphic's website
• Make a new layout for this site, using HTML and stuffs... (LIKE A BOSS)
• Sleep and sleep, and maybe sleep.
• Binge watch Markiplier. 

So I've done quite a bit, and the majority of all of that needs to be on repeat weekly, but it is what it is. I'm proud I accomplished period. BOOYAH. I'm going to work on my more obscure stories tonight and hopefully crank out some updates on those, and then maybe work on one of the bigger ones. Who knows. Maybe I'll just fall asleep. I hope not though. I'm REALLY excited to get back into 1995. 

I've also been working on some original works but I don't really want to put those up because the idea there of course is to have them published. I don't know. I don't seem to know anything these days. My brain is fried. I'm moving in less than three months and I keep forgetting for some reason that my life is about to shift to the other side of my state. No more mom, no more of these friends, but a lot more of the past. ALOT of it. So it's going to be ok, I just keep saying that. It'll be ok. 

Yeah? yeah. 

Life REALLY sucks when it gets in the way

So this week has been a PRETTY fantastic (busy yes) week. I've had some ups, and I've had some downs, but today my best friend came back to me from a trip and I couldn't be happier than anything to see him. I admittedly wanted to hug the shit out of him and force him to love me but that's a different story entirely. LMAO

I'm currently sitting in my bed without pants trying to figure out what to do with everything that I've got to do. My TO DO List keeps growing and I thought I would share it here, with hopes that I could return to it tomorrow when I get a chance to sit down and make myself do it. Mainly because it'll be leering at me and I'll need to update on my results, right? It's a mixed combination of all kinds of things, mainly graphic's but aLOT of writing! Hopefully, I can find the time to do it all. After work. After struggle. After sleep. Maybe I'll get some monster tomorrow and forget about sleep? *cackles*

My Life To-Do List for the Weekend:

• Finish the piggie bank for a co-worker so I can get it in the oven and call it a day.
• Update Breaking Barriers and figure out how long I really want this sudden and distraction filled plot bunny to be.
• Update Devour Me
• Update 1995
• Make a display banner for main hollow girl site
• Work on some updates for graphic's website
• Make a new layout for this site, using HTML and stuffs... (LIKE A BOSS)
• Sleep and sleep, and maybe sleep.
• Binge watch Markiplier. 

That be it for now! Maybe I'll add to it, and if I do it'll probably be a new post entirely with scratches through the shit I've done. Who knows, who really cares? All I know if that I've actually updated this blog more than I have any other one. And maybe that's because I know Renee is creeping on me and I feel motivated to give her something to creep on. LOL. 

Is it really ONLY Wednesday?

I am struggling to keep my sanity this week! I need to update almost everything I've ever written and right now I'm feeling sleep and Markiplier and absolutely nothing. I find myself getting stuck from time to time in these ruts where I don't want to do diddly squat and I find myself sitting around watching people play video games and wondering what I'm doing with my life. Which the answer is nothing.

I need to find a new job in the place I'm moving. I need to focus on rocking out this job like a boss, and I need to save money for my move. SOME BODY SHOW ME THE WAY. XD

Sanity. Do they sell that at Walmart?

More Plot Bunnies

It's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I've eaten very little for the day, if not for the week because of stress and I assume the combination of that and the monster energy drink are leaving me in this predicament. Oh well, it's not the end of the world. No one REALLY needs 8 hours of sleep, do they? *dies*

I'm thinking again. I've been reading a lot, surfing the internet for all kinds of stories and ingesting as much in my fandom's as possible. A lot of smut, a lot of cute shit, a lot of gore and horror. The vast collection of stories I read is innumerable. But that brings me to my top one struggle.

Reading always provides the plot bunnies for me.

I find themes, shy themes hidden in the shadows, in stories that I really like. Ones they didn't entirely notice, or that they did but didn't develop the way I would like with a completely different set of character's entirely. So I sit here and think of what I could do to make the thoughts go away, and of course that's writing. A lot of writing. I've been writing shamelessly interesting smut filled shorts for the last couple of days and I'm most certainly more proud of myself than I intended to be.

The new plot bunny has nothing to do with smut though, and thats where the shift struggle comes! Yo see, I have depression. I have my entire life just about, and the many thoughts of life ending situations have come into my train of thought countless times. (this is no pity party post so please save your condolences for my mention of suicide, it'll go on deaf ears) But it just lends me to this new anxiety thing I have and wraps up and leaves me with this new original story line.

What if a young man was walking across a slow traffic New York bridge, trying to get home after sleeping with some girl he doesn't remember the name of. What if it's 4 in the morning and winter so the morning joggers are just now stirring and he sees this girl there on the ledge, lent over and minding her own business. He recognizes her, as he graduated from college with her, and he even remembers her name, but he doesn't say anything. He just walks past her and when he turns to look back she plummets to her death.

Why am I so morbid?

Maybe something more will come from that plot bunny up there. Maybe, just maybe.

Plot Bunnies

I've been having this vivid dreams recently, I'm not really sure why, but they're all plot bunnies. They're story lines that are completely and utterly made up. I'm pretty sure that the "me" character I'm seeing everything through isn't even me. And the people around me I don't really know. Now of course, it has been said that every face you see in your dreams is a face you've seen in real life. So I can't really say I don't know any of the people but they don't have their right names.

It's just really interesting. All of it. I think I'll probably pop out some original one shots because of it. Who knows! I usually stick to fan fiction though, maybe I'll just adapt it to that. I never really wanted to post original fiction on the internet anyhow, as it just seems to me to be something I want published so why give it away free?

BAH. SHOOT ME. I can't make up my mind about life anymore.